We are all children

Inspirational Messages For Your Heart and Soul

You have probably heard the expression, “We are all children of God” which is true depending on your beliefs and your definition of “God” but many of us are children in adult bodies. Now, I say this because many of us live inside adult bodies that house inner children that we have suppressed, denied, rejected and disowned from our childhood.

​We have traumas that have been buried deep within our subconscious that we act out unconsciously on ourselves. If you come across someone who you find irritating to be in their company, this is because they have triggered a reaction within you that you do not like about yourself and instead project it onto that person. Welcome to the world of mirroring.
 
We mirror and reflect each other. Who we attract in our lives is a reflection of what we think and feel about ourselves. Now it took me sometime to understand this but whenever I encountered someone who spoke and behaved in ways that I found frustrating, I had to go away and figure out what is within me that I find so irritating. 

“We always marry someone for the purpose of finishing our childhood.”
​Harville Hendrix

It seems that our entire lives are geared towards finishing off our childhood. Whatever we found missing in our childhood that we did not get from our parents or guardians is what we are seeking from life through our partners, children, friends, careers and hobbies. Whatever your inner child wanted so badly, she or he will seek out others to provide that. For example a little girl grows up without knowing who her father was, but in adulthood marries a man who leaves her.  What she unconsciously sought in a male was someone who would be a father to her rather than a husband. Her inner child felt unloved and abandoned by not having a father who she believed did not love her and left because he did not want her. She wanted a man to love that aspect of her. What she ended up choosing was a man who reinforced her feeling of abandonment because she had not recognised that aspect of her was selecting her partners. This aspect of her needed to be felt, heard and accepted.
 
What hurt inner children need is to be felt, heard and appreciated. They will compete with each other too to get your attention. They will fight with each other, this is apparent when you cannot decide on something but can hear your conflicting thoughts about the situation.  What you need to do is not focus on the story, but get quiet and listen to the predominant emotion in your body. When working with clients, I help them to get quiet and identify where they feel tension in their body.  This helps them to understand the narrative that is going on in their body and how their inner child or children are trying to get their attention.
 
Never underestimate your inner children; they do not act out to harm you, they always have something valuable to say to help you understand why you keep repeating behaviours that cause you pain. When you can understand and appreciate aspects of yourself that you feel ashamed of or hate, you begin the process of accepting and learning to love yourself.  They are your inner children and they would like You to take care of them.