Don’t think your feelings don’t matter, because they do.

Inspirational Messages For Your Heart and Soul

How many times have you heard phrases like, “Never mind…Don’t worry…Calm down!...There’s no use dwelling on it…I guess you’ve just go to let your feelings out.” I am sure you can think of a few others but for me I do not feel comfort when I hear someone trying to tell me this. I need to own the feelings that I am having in that moment and that means expressing them. And that takes courage.

When people tell you to “Calm down” or “Don’t cry” or “Don’t shout” it is because that triggers something within themselves that they do not want to go anywhere near, but seeing you express your feelings means they want you to feel better so that they can feel better. They want you to be quiet as quickly as possible with the least amount of fuss. Parents who beat their children and tell them to stop crying, do so because that triggers the pain of their own inner children that has been never healed. They treat their children in the way that they their treat their own inner children by silencing them through repression.

When parents use violence to suppress, reject and deny their own inner childhood wounds, this is what they are teaching their own children.  They are treating their children as being separate from themselves rather than as part of them. When children experience trauma and especially if they are sexually abused in infancy, they have no way of processing those experiences, they cannot be understood but know something is not right, so they are fragmented and buried deep into their subconscious but the emotional pain is always there. As adults, it is very hard for them to remember what took place but the memories are held in their emotional and physical bodies.  And there are adults who recall in detail what happened to them.

We live in a society where showing your feelings is taboo.  Thoughts are given more preference than feelings. I have found this to be the case in many therapies and healing modalities. Yet when we get into our feelings, we get out of the story that our minds are telling us. What our thoughts tell us is not always true. In my experience feelings (those sensations) in our bodies do not lie. Someone can tell you that they are fine, but energetically their body feels and says something quite the opposite. As someone who predominantly experiences the world through clairsentience, I can sense pain in the emotional and physical body of a person. How we react to another person’s feelings, is very dependent on how we react to our own internal feelings. We may allow ourselves to feel joy, happiness but when it comes to anger we try to suppress it.  Somehow we cannot be angry. There is shame to being angry.  We cannot say how we really feel in case this may cause someone to feel upset, so we try and bury it until someone or an event triggers this emotion and then we have no choice but to express it.

We are not taught how to process our feelings. What I mean is that you can talk about your feelings, but not actually going into the feeling sensation. This is a deep dive approach. This is the opposite of trying to bury or numb your feelings. When working with clients, I assist them to go into the feeling sensations because whatever pain there is in their emotional body is trying to get their attention to be felt, listened and understood so that healing can take place. When you continue to suppress, reject, deny and disown your painful feelings, they are not being, felt, heard and appreciated. They are your inner children trying to tell you that something within you needs to be healed.

Once you heal and integrate a wounded aspect of yourself, you feel empowered and this makes the process easier to work with other internal fragments that are seeking integration with you. The more you integrate fragmented aspects of your childhood, the more you become internally balanced and peaceful within yourself and life becomes easier for you. 
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