You have probably heard the expression, “We are all children of God” which is true depending on your beliefs and your definition of “God” but many of us are children in adult bodies. Now, I say this because many of us live inside adult bodies that house inner children that we have suppressed, denied, rejected and disowned from our childhood.

​We have traumas that have been buried deep within our subconscious that we act out unconsciously on ourselves. If you come across someone who you find irritating to be in their company, this is because they have triggered a reaction within you that you do not like about yourself and instead project it onto that person. Welcome to the world of mirroring.
 
We mirror and reflect each other. Who we attract in our lives is a reflection of what we think and feel about ourselves. Now it took me sometime to understand this but whenever I encountered someone who spoke and behaved in ways that I found frustrating, I had to go away and figure out what is within me that I find so irritating. 

It seems that our entire lives are geared towards finishing off our childhood. Whatever we found missing in our childhood that we did not get from our parents or guardians is what we are seeking from life through our partners, children, friends, careers and hobbies. Whatever your inner child wanted so badly, she or he will seek out others to provide that. For example a little girl grows up without knowing who her father was, but in adulthood marries a man who leaves her.  What she unconsciously sought in a male was someone who would be a father to her rather than a husband. Her inner child felt unloved and abandoned by not having a father who she believed did not love her and left because he did not want her. She wanted a man to love that aspect of her. What she ended up choosing was a man who reinforced her feeling of abandonment because she had not recognised that aspect of her was selecting her partners. This aspect of her needed to be felt, heard and accepted.
 
What hurt inner children need is to be felt, heard and appreciated. They will compete with each other too to get your attention. They will fight with each other, this is apparent when you cannot decide on something but can hear your conflicting thoughts about the situation.  What you need to do is not focus on the story, but get quiet and listen to the predominant emotion in your body. When working with clients, I help them to get quiet and identify where they feel tension in their body.  This helps them to understand the narrative that is going on in their body and how their inner child or children are trying to get their attention.
 
Never underestimate your inner children; they do not act out to harm you, they always have something valuable to say to help you understand why you keep repeating behaviours that cause you pain. When you can understand and appreciate aspects of yourself that you feel ashamed of or hate, you begin the process of accepting and learning to love yourself.  They are your inner children and they would like You to take care of them.

We are now at the end of the third month of lockdown in the UK with many changes happening daily on a global scale. This has affected every aspect of life on Earth, changing the way we interact with each other: being socially distant from family, friends, work colleagues, clients and people we see down at our local shops.  

What the lockdown has revealed is that there are two distinct groups: those who believe the coronavirus pandemic is real and are frightened the virus will kill them; and those who believe it is a hoax and that the government is crashing the economy, destroying businesses and lives on a monumental scale for a virus that is no more deadly than the common flu. The first group, believe that the government is there to protect us and that wearing masks, social distancing and isolating at home is necessary to prevent the spread of the virus. The latter group believe the government is intent on doing the opposite of protecting us through social distance conditioning, house arrest, 5g, mandatory vaccines, digital tracking and a cashless society. 

Whatever group you find yourself in, the lockdown has revealed to you what you fear most and don’t want to happen. Your worst fear could be dying alone from the virus or being vaccinated and implanted with an RFID chip. Everyone fears dying unless you have transcended duality and found inner peace and no longer fear death. Not everyone on this planet has discovered that eternal state of inner peace because they are experiencing internal conflicts from childhood traumas that they are trying to suppress or in the process of integrating.  Either way the global lockdown has revealed polar opposites within society that are in resistance to each other.

These fragmented aspects we are in resistance to are our shadow selves: those parts of us we have locked down internally and do not want to face.  What you try to resist or push down will rear its “ugly” head in ways that you may not expect. When this happens you have no choice but to face it. This is exactly what is happening right now with the lockdown.

Whatever you lockdown will eventually burst open.  So how you come out of this lockdown is dependent on what you want to see happening right now. Do you want to open the door and face your worst fears or are you going to continue to lock them down? Either way a river will burst its banks when the pressure becomes too great. So is it safety or freedom you seek?

​What the lockdown is forcing humanity to do is to seek our internal truth and figure out what we love and treasure most. 

When a fragmented aspect of your inner child feels heard and appreciated by you, you feel empowered.  You have learnt to embrace that part of you as your own.  That aspect no longer has to fight to get your attention.

When you resist feeling the emotions of your fragmented aspects, your emotional pain persists. Through feeling the sensations in your body, you can get to the core of the issue. When you feel, see, and listen into those fragmented parts of your personality that require your attention, they show you what it is that you need to heal internally.

Your inner child knows what you need to heal emotionally. Your inner child is seeking peace with you.

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We formed an unconscious definition of love by watching how our parents / primary caregivers behaved.  Then we unconsciously seek out those partners with the same characteristics that our parents exhibited.  But we also unconsciously exhibit those same behaviours while trying consciously to seek out partners, friendships and careers which offer to us what we felt was missing in our childhood. 
 
People seek relationships to finish their childhood.  Yet the very things that you deny about your childhood: your unhealed emotional wounds, will be attracted in your soulmate, friendships and wider social circles.  These emotional wounds which are fragmented aspects of your personality, will show up to remind you that they deserve your attention to be listened to and felt.  They are not showing up to harm you, they are calling for your unconditional attention and acceptance. 
 
My job is help you create a safe space within which to listen to those parts of you that you have suppressed, rejected and denied about yourself.  What you carry will weigh you down in your life.  Isn’t it time you put your bags down, opened them up to look at what has been calling you.  You might find the opposite of what you thought was chasing you.  You might actually find some relief in your life.

Healing your inner child fragments is the gateway to union with your Higher Self / Soul.  Your inner child is seeking union with you so that you can become whole.
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In our search for completion, we strive to find friendships, romantic partners or jobs that will fill the void from our childhood.  If you felt unsafe as a child growing up with your parents/guardians, you will unconsciously seek relationships that are unsafe.  It seems ironic, but patterns of living we grew up with become unconscious patterns we use to choose our friendships, romantic partners and careers.
 
If your childhood was one where you were constantly shouted at by your parents, you will unconsciously form relationships that frequently involve that type of communication where the other does not feel heard.  Patterns of behaviour that you created to survive within an emotionally, mentally and physically abusive family environment become unconscious.  They become the norm and so become unconscious patterns of relating to other humans.

​When you encounter people who trigger emotional reactions within you, they are uncovering responses to situations you created for yourself in childhood.  My job is to help you unpick them:  identify the triggers and the responses and when they first began.  When you understand the reasons for your responses, you can learn to understand your defences with compassion and learn a new way of being with yourself.
 
You can learn to love yourself by nurturing those parts of you that felt injured, abandoned and rejected as a child.

"When  you say or do anything to please, get, keep, influence, or control anyone or anything,
fear is the cause and pain is the result."  Byrom Katie

"We can't expect other people to give us what we find impossible to give ourselves. So we start with ourselves. We can't expect the world to live it when we aren't."  Byron Katie