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We are all children

24/6/2020

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Inspirational Messages For Your Heart and Soul

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You have probably heard the expression, “We are all children of God” which is true depending on your beliefs and your definition of “God” but many of us are children in adult bodies. Now, I say this because many of us live inside adult bodies that house inner children that we have suppressed, denied, rejected and disowned from our childhood.

​We have traumas that have been buried deep within our subconscious that we act out unconsciously on ourselves. If you come across someone who you find irritating to be in their company, this is because they have triggered a reaction within you that you do not like about yourself and instead project it onto that person. Welcome to the world of mirroring.
 
We mirror and reflect each other. Who we attract in our lives is a reflection of what we think and feel about ourselves. Now it took me sometime to understand this but whenever I encountered someone who spoke and behaved in ways that I found frustrating, I had to go away and figure out what is within me that I find so irritating. 
“We always marry someone for the purpose of finishing our childhood.”
​Harville Hendrix
It seems that our entire lives are geared towards finishing off our childhood. Whatever we found missing in our childhood that we did not get from our parents or guardians is what we are seeking from life through our partners, children, friends, careers and hobbies. Whatever your inner child wanted so badly, she or he will seek out others to provide that. For example a little girl grows up without knowing who her father was, but in adulthood marries a man who leaves her.  What she unconsciously sought in a male was someone who would be a father to her rather than a husband. Her inner child felt unloved and abandoned by not having a father who she believed did not love her and left because he did not want her. She wanted a man to love that aspect of her. What she ended up choosing was a man who reinforced her feeling of abandonment because she had not recognised that aspect of her was selecting her partners. This aspect of her needed to be felt, heard and accepted.
 
What hurt inner children need is to be felt, heard and appreciated. They will compete with each other too to get your attention. They will fight with each other, this is apparent when you cannot decide on something but can hear your conflicting thoughts about the situation.  What you need to do is not focus on the story, but get quiet and listen to the predominant emotion in your body. When working with clients, I help them to get quiet and identify where they feel tension in their body.  This helps them to understand the narrative that is going on in their body and how their inner child or children are trying to get their attention.
 
Never underestimate your inner children; they do not act out to harm you, they always have something valuable to say to help you understand why you keep repeating behaviours that cause you pain. When you can understand and appreciate aspects of yourself that you feel ashamed of or hate, you begin the process of accepting and learning to love yourself.  They are your inner children and they would like You to take care of them.

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Is it safety or freedom you seek?

22/6/2020

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Inspirational Messages For Your Heart and Soul

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We are now at the end of the third month of lockdown in the UK with many changes happening daily on a global scale. This has affected every aspect of life on Earth, changing the way we interact with each other: being socially distant from family, friends, work colleagues, clients and people we see down at our local shops.  

What the lockdown has revealed is that there are two distinct groups: those who believe the coronavirus pandemic is real and are frightened the virus will kill them; and those who believe it is a hoax and that the government is crashing the economy, destroying businesses and lives on a monumental scale for a virus that is no more deadly than the common flu. The first group, believe that the government is there to protect us and that wearing masks, social distancing and isolating at home is necessary to prevent the spread of the virus. The latter group believe the government is intent on doing the opposite of protecting us through social distance conditioning, house arrest, 5g, mandatory vaccines, digital tracking and a cashless society. 

Whatever group you find yourself in, the lockdown has revealed to you what you fear most and don’t want to happen. Your worst fear could be dying alone from the virus or being vaccinated and implanted with an RFID chip. Everyone fears dying unless you have transcended duality and found inner peace and no longer fear death. Not everyone on this planet has discovered that eternal state of inner peace because they are experiencing internal conflicts from childhood traumas that they are trying to suppress or in the process of integrating.  Either way the global lockdown has revealed polar opposites within society that are in resistance to each other.

These fragmented aspects we are in resistance to are our shadow selves: those parts of us we have locked down internally and do not want to face.  What you try to resist or push down will rear its “ugly” head in ways that you may not expect. When this happens you have no choice but to face it. This is exactly what is happening right now with the lockdown.

Whatever you lockdown will eventually burst open.  So how you come out of this lockdown is dependent on what you want to see happening right now. Do you want to open the door and face your worst fears or are you going to continue to lock them down? Either way a river will burst its banks when the pressure becomes too great. So is it safety or freedom you seek?

​What the lockdown is forcing humanity to do is to seek our internal truth and figure out what we love and treasure most. 


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Don’t think your feelings don’t matter, because they do.

15/6/2020

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Inspirational Messages For Your Heart and Soul

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How many times have you heard phrases like, “Never mind…Don’t worry…Calm down!...There’s no use dwelling on it…I guess you’ve just go to let your feelings out.” I am sure you can think of a few others but for me I do not feel comfort when I hear someone trying to tell me this. I need to own the feelings that I am having in that moment and that means expressing them. And that takes courage.

When people tell you to “Calm down” or “Don’t cry” or “Don’t shout” it is because that triggers something within themselves that they do not want to go anywhere near, but seeing you express your feelings means they want you to feel better so that they can feel better. They want you to be quiet as quickly as possible with the least amount of fuss. Parents who beat their children and tell them to stop crying, do so because that triggers the pain of their own inner children that has been never healed. They treat their children in the way that they their treat their own inner children by silencing them through repression.

When parents use violence to suppress, reject and deny their own inner childhood wounds, this is what they are teaching their own children.  They are treating their children as being separate from themselves rather than as part of them. When children experience trauma and especially if they are sexually abused in infancy, they have no way of processing those experiences, they cannot be understood but know something is not right, so they are fragmented and buried deep into their subconscious but the emotional pain is always there. As adults, it is very hard for them to remember what took place but the memories are held in their emotional and physical bodies.  And there are adults who recall in detail what happened to them.

We live in a society where showing your feelings is taboo.  Thoughts are given more preference than feelings. I have found this to be the case in many therapies and healing modalities. Yet when we get into our feelings, we get out of the story that our minds are telling us. What our thoughts tell us is not always true. In my experience feelings (those sensations) in our bodies do not lie. Someone can tell you that they are fine, but energetically their body feels and says something quite the opposite. As someone who predominantly experiences the world through clairsentience, I can sense pain in the emotional and physical body of a person. How we react to another person’s feelings, is very dependent on how we react to our own internal feelings. We may allow ourselves to feel joy, happiness but when it comes to anger we try to suppress it.  Somehow we cannot be angry. There is shame to being angry.  We cannot say how we really feel in case this may cause someone to feel upset, so we try and bury it until someone or an event triggers this emotion and then we have no choice but to express it.

We are not taught how to process our feelings. What I mean is that you can talk about your feelings, but not actually going into the feeling sensation. This is a deep dive approach. This is the opposite of trying to bury or numb your feelings. When working with clients, I assist them to go into the feeling sensations because whatever pain there is in their emotional body is trying to get their attention to be felt, listened and understood so that healing can take place. When you continue to suppress, reject, deny and disown your painful feelings, they are not being, felt, heard and appreciated. They are your inner children trying to tell you that something within you needs to be healed.

Once you heal and integrate a wounded aspect of yourself, you feel empowered and this makes the process easier to work with other internal fragments that are seeking integration with you. The more you integrate fragmented aspects of your childhood, the more you become internally balanced and peaceful within yourself and life becomes easier for you. 
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Your inner child knows what you need to heal internally

8/6/2020

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Inspirational Messages For Your Heart and Soul

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When a fragmented aspect of your inner child feels heard and appreciated by you, you feel empowered.  You have learnt to embrace that part of you as your own.  That aspect no longer has to fight to get your attention.

When you resist feeling the emotions of your fragmented aspects, your emotional pain persists. Through feeling the sensations in your body, you can get to the core of the issue. When you feel, see, and listen into those fragmented parts of your personality that require your attention, they show you what it is that you need to heal internally.

Your inner child knows what you need to heal emotionally. Your inner child is seeking peace with you.

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Striving for connection and closeness.

26/5/2020

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Inspirational Messages For Your Heart and Soul

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I have talked about the relationship with ourselves as being the most important but our single most important need is closeness and connection.  We are all seeking connection.  We strive for connection and closeness.  We want to belong to a group, to be accepted.  When there is no connection, we feel lonely.

This loneliness goes back to our childhood.  Our childhood forms the patterns of our adult behaviours.  When we did not have the approval of our parents/primary caregivers and were shamed by them, we developed emotional wounds.  These are fragmented parts of ourselves that we learned to hate because we did not want to upset our parents.  So we try to bury them, shove them down to stop them re-appearing but they do not go away.

If you lived in a household where your parents punished you for crying, expressing joy or anger, you learned to be invisible and quiet yet hyper vigilant.  Fear is used by dysfunctional parents to control and manipulate their children.  So to gain their approval, children will distance themselves from those parts of their personality that they in turn learn to hate.  As you grow into an adult body, you unconsciously learn to internalise the methods of punishment that your parents used against you.  Some self-medicate to avoid their pain others seek healing.

In order to heal from your emotional wounds is to do the opposite of what you have been taught.  Rather than avoid your pain, you have to go towards it.  To connect with the aspects of your fragmented self you have suppressed, rejected and denied.  You get closer to that part of you that you hate about yourself.  This does take courage, but the aspects of you that you hate about yourself are seeking closeness, connection and they want to feel they belong to you.  You want to feel connected to yourself so that you can connect to others.  This is how you begin the process of self-acceptance. 
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What we experienced as love in childhood.

21/5/2020

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Inspirational Messages For Your Heart and Soul

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We formed an unconscious definition of love by watching how our parents / primary caregivers behaved.  Then we unconsciously seek out those partners with the same characteristics that our parents exhibited.  But we also unconsciously exhibit those same behaviours while trying consciously to seek out partners, friendships and careers which offer to us what we felt was missing in our childhood. 
 
People seek relationships to finish their childhood.  Yet the very things that you deny about your childhood: your unhealed emotional wounds, will be attracted in your soulmate, friendships and wider social circles.  These emotional wounds which are fragmented aspects of your personality, will show up to remind you that they deserve your attention to be listened to and felt.  They are not showing up to harm you, they are calling for your unconditional attention and acceptance. 
 
My job is help you create a safe space within which to listen to those parts of you that you have suppressed, rejected and denied about yourself.  What you carry will weigh you down in your life.  Isn’t it time you put your bags down, opened them up to look at what has been calling you.  You might find the opposite of what you thought was chasing you.  You might actually find some relief in your life.

Healing your inner child fragments is the gateway to union with your Higher Self / Soul.  Your inner child is seeking union with you so that you can become whole.
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What is it that you're missing from your childhood?

13/5/2020

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Inspirational Messages For Your Heart and Soul

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​Unconsciously, we seek what we never had as children.
In our search for completion, we strive to find friendships, romantic partners or jobs that will fill the void from our childhood.  If you felt unsafe as a child growing up with your parents/guardians, you will unconsciously seek relationships that are unsafe.  It seems ironic, but patterns of living we grew up with become unconscious patterns we use to choose our friendships, romantic partners and careers.
 
If your childhood was one where you were constantly shouted at by your parents, you will unconsciously form relationships that frequently involve that type of communication where the other does not feel heard.  Patterns of behaviour that you created to survive within an emotionally, mentally and physically abusive family environment become unconscious.  They become the norm and so become unconscious patterns of relating to other humans.

​When you encounter people who trigger emotional reactions within you, they are uncovering responses to situations you created for yourself in childhood.  My job is to help you unpick them:  identify the triggers and the responses and when they first began.  When you understand the reasons for your responses, you can learn to understand your defences with compassion and learn a new way of being with yourself.
 
You can learn to love yourself by nurturing those parts of you that felt injured, abandoned and rejected as a child.

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When you run from your feelings.

8/5/2020

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Inspirational Messages For Your Heart and Soul

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No matter how far you run, you will always return to the source of your pain.

​When you run from your feelings rather than seeking to understand them you are missing vital clues to your own healing.

When you seek to understand and listen to your pain, you are giving yourself permission to hear the message.
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When you don’t know how to say it?

30/4/2020

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Inspirational Messages For Your Heart and Soul

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There are times when I don’t have words for what I feel, yet I work with clients in that situation. 

When I am working with people, I can sense pain in their physical and emotional bodies.  These are clues as to what is going on for them emotionally but they find it difficult to communicate in words how they are feeling for a number reasons: shame, fear of being judged or it is too painful.
 
Sometimes, people don’t know where to begin when they come to see me.  They may talk about emotional, physical and sexual abuse they experienced as children.  I listen and by listening I sense what is going on for them at a feeling level.  I may sense, a tightness in the centre of my chest and relay that back to the person who confirms that this is what they are experiencing.  Our emotions are an indication of what is going on at an energetic level, and this goes deeper than our bodies.
 
Listening is so important because in the silence there is so much information.  So it is always important to listen to what you are saying.  I find it interesting and for myself included, that we do not listen to ourselves.  When we don’t listen to ourselves, there are vital clues that we are missing for our own healing and growth.  You may be asking yourself, “Why can I never be happy?  I just can’t seem to be happy?”  That is the story you may be telling yourself but what are the emotions, and the feeling sensations behind that.
 
When you tell yourself, “I just can’t seem to be happy”, how does your body feel when you say that?  We can get so wrapped in our stories our minds tell us, we ignore our emotions.  And, when we do talk about our feelings, we do so in the third person, “When something like this happens, you tend to feel that this should not happen to you.”  Talking in the third person is a way of suppressing, denying and rejecting your feelings about a situation.  When you are not owning what you feel your emotional and physical body will always react in accordance to how you feel and that is one of the major reason we experience illness.  By the way I am not a medical doctor, so I cannot give medical advice
 
So, to help you describe how you are feeling, if you find this difficult to put into words, I work with you to tune into and listen to your physical body as way into your emotions.  If you feel emotionally blocked, that you cannot get past something or feel trapped, then I can work with you to help release emotional blockages.

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To be honest....

27/4/2020

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Inspirational Messages For Your Heart and Soul

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When we suppress, reject or deny our feelings about painful situations from our childhood, they will not disappear. They will show up in painful ways you may least expect.

Our wounded aspects are like children locked out of their own home; banging on the door to be let in. What they are seeking is our unconditional attention to be felt and heard. When you deny your feelings, you remain stuck; yet your feelings provide the keys to healing and growth.

​As an intuitive counsellor and empath, I help individuals release resistance to their emotions and heal from their emotional wounds. Learning to care about your feelings is important to developing self love.
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    ​Shirley McIntosh
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    Energy Healer and Intuitive Counsellor
    ​Working with the Angelic Realm, Ascended Masters and Star Beings.
    ​South Manchester, UK

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