When you are traumatized as a child, you are constantly seeking love and validation from external sources. The message that you received as a child is, “I am unlovable.”

There are so many experiences and aspects of ourselves that have felt and feel unloved that we have suppressed, rejected and denied that are wanting to us to listen to them. They will act up, act out and show up in our relationships whether they be friendships, romantic or in our work lives.
 
Anything that we suppress, reject or deny will not disappear, it will show up in painful ways you may least expect. They will repeat until we have to take notice of what is going on inside and out. Our wounded aspects are like children locked out of their own home; they are banging on the door to be let in. What our wounded aspects are seeking is our unconditional presence to listen to them.

Your inner children want to come home. They are seeking your love. You are seeking your own self love.

When you grow up in an environment that invalidates you, you lose touch with your emotions. What you are seeking is connection with yourself.

The most important relationship that you will ever have is with yourself. 

If you believe that you are a "bad" person, that you are inherently no good, that is a tough one to work through.  Relating to other humans is difficult but it is through our relationships with ourselves and others that we can begin to heal.  It takes time and be can be done if you are willing to change yourself and do the work.

Doing  inner child healing work is a process, an unravelling of the programming that was ingrained in you as a child:  replacing unloving parents with a loving parent that your inner child has always longed for.

It is about learning how to love yourself.

With clients I help them process uncomfortable deep seated emotions. When we run from our feelings, our emotional wounds persist. When we follow our feelings, we lessen resistance and begin the healing process and come to a state of peace and inner joy.

When we surrender to our feelings, our internal healing unfolds.
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Let People Learn Their Own Lessons
Heavenletter #329 Published on: September 23, 2001
 
God said:
 
Do not spend your life trying to improve other individuals in their personal lives. Do not know better than another what they should do and how they should do it. A need to improve others is your need, not theirs. Do not need to improve others, for it is always for your sake, not theirs. Furthermore, you only try to improve others because you have made judgments. You found the others lacking. You found yourself superior. You found your judgment and exalted it.
 
Do not always know better than someone else.
 
When you try to improve another, you invade their territory.
 
No matter how well-intentioned you are, and you are, you usurp another's rights. You want to help another. You only want to serve, but you take over. Do not help people so much. Let people help themselves.
 
Even little children, let them feed themselves. Let them use their fingers. Let them make a mess. It is your need to have eating immaculate. Let your need be to give independence.
 
Do not make others dependent upon you.
 
Giving freedom is not giving license.
 
The more you respect others' rights, the more you will respect your own.
 
You are using another's energy when you try to improve them. You think you are being kind in improving, but you are drawing a small circle around them. You manacle them. Despite your wish to give goodness, you become a scavenger.
 
Be not a critic. Be an enjoyer.
 
Leave another to their foibles. You can be sure you have your own.
 
Be hands off. Let someone tie their shoe incorrectly. It is their shoe. Let them find their own way themselves.
 
Be not a fault-finder. Be a joy-giver.
 
You do not like people to improve you. It does not matter whether you need it or not. When you want improvement, you will ask, and then you will listen.
 
When someone asks you for advice, then maybe you can give it. Maybe they were not sincere in asking for advice. Let them then learn to have their speech follow their true thought.
 
Learn to keep silent. True giving is silent. True giving is not intended. It just is. It comes of itself, and is done before you know it.
 
Giving advice is controlling. You misguidedly try to control another's life on Earth. Let them be. Let them find their own way. Do not take it as your right or purpose to change them. Help someone by not trying to change them.
 
I let you be. I let you stumble. I let you everything. I do not try to improve you. I accept you, and I inspire. If I did not accept you, you would not be inspired. My very acceptance of you inspires you, and you raise yourself a notch.
 
You have to climb your own ladder, and everyone must climb theirs. Find a way to draw a picture of a ladder on which one rung is not higher than another. Different rungs, different placement, but each rung your foot reaches for is your next step.
 
You do not spare another his next step.
 
Do you try to improve another who tries to improve you? It is a hard task. Ask Me for help, and I will lift another's thoughts from you. And I will lift their hearts so they will pay more attention to their own life and less to yours.
 
Pick yourself up wherever you are. What others do and say is not your domain. What you do and say is your domain.
 
Include Me. Do not try to change Me either. Embrace Me. Let Me be God. Let Me be your God of Love, for I do love you and I let you live your life in peace.

Source: heavenletters.org/let-people-learn-their-own-lessons.html

 “Use your brain, mind and thoughts to navigate the logical world of things, finance, business, but use your heart to navigate life. The real value of life is to be able to hear the heart and interpret the feelings accurately. That is your inner guidance helping you. If you ignore your feelings, then you are lost to the reason that you came into this life.” David Ashworth

"...there is light within the darkness of dying.  Look back on your life, think of your greatest loss, your greatest comfort, and your greatest wonder..." Dr. Christopher Kerr

Sometimes letting go is the hardest thing to do.
Go within to find the answers.

"Don't depend on death to liberate you from your imperfections. You are exactly the same after death as you were before. Nothing changes; you only give up the body. If you are a thief or a liar or a cheater before death, you don't become an angel merely by dying. If such were possible, then let us all go and jump in the ocean now and become angels at once! Whatever you have made of yourself thus far, so will you be hereafter. And when you reincarnate, you will bring that same nature with you. To change, you have to make the effort. This world is the place to do it. "  Paramahansa Yogananda

You are being guided to create a better life for yourself. Never let it be said that you are not being given opportunities. They are everywhere you just have to open your eyes to see them. Rather than make a good impression, follow your heart. Transparency is the key to learning. You will learn more from your openness to new endeavours. Bravado is for those who like to fail. Wisdom is for those who love to learn in spite of their weaknesses. Gather your strengths, 2017 is a year for learning and growth. Watch how you will rise.

"When  you say or do anything to please, get, keep, influence, or control anyone or anything,
fear is the cause and pain is the result."  Byrom Katie